I'm Having a Hard Time Right Now

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Things have been crazy around here. Some of you might not know that I suffer from depression. For the first time, I went to see a doctor about it about three months ago. I got on some medication which was like a miracle. It really helped me be more even, have more energy and it was so much easier to control my thoughts. Unfortunately, in the last week, it stopped working, and I had a very bad low. Worse than when I'm not on medication. It quite freaked me out. Usually my depression just makes me seem really lazy and mellow and sad, but not so that you could tell. People might just find me grumpy with low self esteem. But last week was real depression with crying and everything. I even lost interest in reading! After a few days of this, I stopped taking my meds, which helped. I really need to do something else, but that kind of explains my absense from things.

Aubrey is still sick. Last Monday I took her to the doctor again with a high fever. Another ear infection, or rather, one that hasn't gone away yet. She's been very cranky, waking up four plus times a night. And on top of the ear infection, she is teething. Yay. Poor thing. Poor mommy. I really need more regular sleep. I had a very bad migraine yesterday because of a combination of hormones and little sleep (been getting them 2-3 times a week lately). It got so bad that David took me to the UrgentCare, where we waiting for two hours to be seen. But at last I saw a doctor and they gave me two shots, which were pretty painful (right in the hip). I was thinking for a bit that the cure was worse than the headache. It did help a lot though, and by the time I fell asleep at 12:20, the pain was almost gone, both from the shots and the headache. Another benefit is that I was supposed to pump for 6-8 hours, which means that David got to take over the night feedings. She ate right before we all fell asleep at 12:20 and another time during the night, no idea what time! Hehe! Thanks, hon, you're the best. I woke up this morning feeling great!

I've been wanting to wean Aubrey, because I know it will help with the depression--one of the many reasons I don't love breastfeeding, but she would refuse to take a bottle or sippy cup. When I got up, she was happy to take one after the two she got from Daddy last night. So, nows the time to make a choice. I think I will keep on with the bottles. I'm just not sure I can keep the breastfeeding up. She's already the longest I've ever made it (I weaned Xander at 6 months, Griffin and Maxton were 9 months, Aubriana is almost 10 months). I know some women love to breastfeed, and while I love the closeness and providing for my baby, it messes with my hormones so badly and does weird things to my personality. I pretty much loathe it. Poor David. I'm not sure if he or I even know what I'm like normally! :P I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for most of our marriage (something like 6 months out of the last 6.5 years I've not been pg or bf).

Anyways, that's my exciting life. Really, we're going to be ok. I'm planning on seeing the doctor again to talk about the depression and the migraines. And soon Aubrey will get her tooth and figure out that screaming all night is not fun. :)

To close, some pictures of Aubrey at the egg hunt we had for the kids at my mom's house last Tuesday. She was surprisingly interested in the contents. She would lean the bucket over, grab whatever was closest and try to shove it in her mouth before I could move the bucket and take out the soggy wrapper. I kept letting her try, just because it was so DARN CUTE.

I've started a new blog: Come follow my crafting adventures on my new blog. Find me at: creativeirony.com.

Will she ever get better?

Last month on the 15th, I took Aubrey to the doctor because I suspected she had an ear infection brought on by a cold. Sure enough, she did. They gave us some antibiotics, simple enough, right? Not really. I took her in for her 9 month (how did she get so old already!?!) well check up and she still had a slight cold and a now double ear infections, plus she'd dropped in weight, which is a bit scary. So, more antibiotics. Well, a few days later she wakes up and I notice spots all over her legs and arms. At first I was thinking it was an allergic reaction to the new type of antibiotics, but after a call to the nurse and a baking soda bath, nope, it's. . . chicken pox. (!) Of course. What else could it be? I was happy that her runny nose seemed to have cleared up in the meantime. Well, now the chicken pox are mostly healed, and she has developed a raspy cough and a runny nose again. I've not gotten much sleep in the past few weeks, plus we have moved in the meantime and boy, I'm tired. Poor baby, I hope she gets better soon. I don't think I can take much more. She is pretty good during the day, it's just at night that she gets crabby. We also haven't been to church in quite a while. I hope that she is well enough this Sunday so we can get back to normal.

I've started a new blog: Come follow my crafting adventures on my new blog. Find me at: creativeirony.com.

Talk talk talk

So, last Saturday we were coming home from getting a few things at the store and Xander started bugging us about going to Chuck E. Cheese. We told him we weren't going then. Next he wanted to know if we could go on the "next day." All three of them call tomorrow "the next day." As an aside, I will tell them that we will go tomorrow and inevitably, they ask, "You mean the next day?" Anyway, we told Xander we couldn't go because it would be Sunday and we need to go to church and we choose not to do those kinds of things on Sunday. He comes back with, "I promise to think about Jesus while I play." We were cracking up.

My other story is about Griffin. He's really got an amazing vocabulary. For example, we needed to clean up at Grandma's yesterday and he was trying to worm his way out of it. His argument? "Little boys can't clean up, especially when they are dirty little boys." Grandma was very impressed with his use of "especially." Keep in mind he's not even two and a half yet. I was laughing at him the other day, because he kept saying, "or something." I can't remember what came before the "or something." It went something like, "this is my big ball or something."

Speaking of speaking, Aubriana is now on her third word! "Dada" was first; David was so excited (although he has 3 out of 4, pout pout). Then, it was "hi" complete with very enthusiastic waves. She says it "hu, hu." Next, she got around to "Mama." Oh, it's so cute! It melts my heart into a little puddle. She mostly says it when she's hungry, but occasionally other times too. Two nights ago, I could hear her over the baby monitor saying, "Mama" when she woke up in the night. She is really the sweetest thing. She's just getting the pincher grasp now.

I've started a new blog: Come follow my crafting adventures on my new blog. Find me at: creativeirony.com.