Every Saturday, I post a previous post, usually from about a year ago (although I might go back further if I feel like it). Enjoy!
In honor of Iron Man II which comes out soon, I dug up this post, when David and I went to see the first Iron Man, in which I fall spectacularly and end up going to the chiropractor for months afterward.
Roller blades are evil.
The post is from May 16, 2008, and here it is:
There's Nothing Like an Idiot on Roller Blades
So, David bought roller blades for himself and for me for his birthday, so we could go together. I haven't been on roller blades in years, although I owned a pair when they first came out. David hasn't ever been. Well, we decided yesterday for our date that we will drive to the mouth of Provo Canyon and then skate to the movie theater to see Iron Man. David bought me some knee pads, elbow pads and wrist pads, but I decided I didn't need them because we were going to take it very easy, since it was our first time out.
We get to the mouth of the canyon and strap on our roller blades. I was a bit worried about getting on the trail. It's a steep incline with a smallish gate at the bottom, but I figured I would be ok. I'd take it slow. Well, I start down the hill, so does David. We're picking up speed alarmingly fast. David veers off to the left to hit a guardrail to slow himself down. I'm thinking about hitting the chain link fence to stop myself, but it looks sharp at the top. I'm afraid to use my brake because I'm thinking it will knock me off balance, so I decide to take my chances through the gate.
Except when I get close, I see that it there is a lumpy dip between the asphalt and the cement of the bridge. I panic. There is no way I can time it to step over it, I'm going too fast and I'm way out of practice. I realize this as I go over it. Then I feel my feet slip out from underneath me. They fly up into the air, I can feel my body hovering for what feel like eternity and no time at all at the same time. Just before I slam down, flat on my back, I think, "Crap, the backpack has slid up and it's not underneath me." It had my shoes in it and I would have much rather landed on the backpack, even with its lumpy load. I lay there, stunned, as a biker who was just behind me rides through the gap and asks if I'm ok. I gasp out a yes, which is a total lie. I realize that my body has flown much further than I would have imagined, since he has room to go through the gate and around me. It's a narrow gate.
David gets there and after a few moments, I'm able to get up. I have road rash on my left palm and road rash over a nasty bruise on my elbow. The worst is my back. All night I couldn't breathe from whatever I did to my ribcage. It's much better today. I have a nasty red mark all the way down my back and it is so sore. I also ended up with a migraine from the tension of holding my neck up. I'm so lucky I didn't hit my head.
It's hard to stop on roller blades. I hate that back brake. Before we go out again, David and I are donning those blessed knee, elbow and wrist pads, going to a nice, level park to practice braking.