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Friday, February 22, 2008

To the Mom yesterday at Walmart

Yesterday was a big errand day for us. We left the house at 10:30 yesterday morning and made a bunch of stops. We met Melissa and Jay and their kids at Arctic Circle for lunch and so the kids could play. They had a blast and I thought after that they'd be refreshed and ready for our last stop at Walmart. I was wrong. By then, they were tired and ready for naps, but they were doing ok. A bit whiny, but not too bad. Until I told Griffin he couldn't have any stickers. Griffin decided he'd had enough and started throwing a fit. If you know Griffin's fits at all, you will know that he does not take well to redirection. Trying to distract him just ticks him off more. So, I scooped him up and carried him while steering the cart with one hand. Then Max ran full speed into a cart. He was trying to keep up with me (I was trying to hurry), and he was not watching where he was running and SMACK. The lady pushing the cart felt so bad, although there was not a thing she could have done to avoid it. Anyway, I had to put the yelling Griffin down I while I comforted Maxton. Right then I was thinking of doing something I've never done before--abandoning the cart with all the groceries and just leaving. Two things prevented me from doing this: one was we only had two or three diapers left between Griffin and Aubriana and dang it, we had to have those diapers that were in the cart. Same with the milk. We had maybe two inches at home. We were also leaving in just a bit to go to my great-grandma's 102 birthday party and if we left, we'd have no time to buy those things before driving to Ogden. So, I was just trying to deal with it as best as I could and hoping that they'd calm down and that we weren't disturbing others.

Anyway, I noticed a mom with two kids. Then a few minutes later, while I was comforting Griffin, we ran into this same mom by the yogurt. She approached me and so nicely said, "I wish there was something I could do to help you." I thanked her and said I hoped they'd be ok in a few minutes. Then she said something I will probably never forget, "You are doing so well. You are such a good mom," with such kindness and conviction. I'm tearing up just writing that out. A few seconds later, Griffin calmed down and we were able to finish our shopping, but that was a very hard five minutes. I really wish I could have told her just how much that meant to hear, but we didn't run into her again.

I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to being a mom. I've gotten with that I'm not athletic. I'm fine with the fact that I will never be a great writer. I happy with my ability as a scrapbooker. I even think I'm a good wife. But the thought that I have failings as a mother (as everyone does, I know), just kills me. I do my best, but I feel so flawed. David's on a business trip, so last night, I could not sleep because I was thinking about this, tears leaking into my pillow, as I prayed and thanked my Heavenly Father for a few kind words when I needed it the most. I hope that lady is blessed a million times over.
I've started a new blog: Come follow my crafting adventures on my new blog. Find me at: creativeirony.com.