An Old Letter or Why Not to Blow Kisses During Class

So, today we cleaned out some of our room. I recently read Clutter's Last Stand by Don Aslett and I've got the throw away/give away/sell bug. Clutter is choking me. So, I was going through my files and found this old letter, and I think it's too hilarious to keep to myself, although it was probably humiliating for both of us at the time. I have no memory of the event, so I must not have been too traumatized. I'm not sure why this one was never sent. Probably because it was never finished. Also, note the date.

Feb. 13, 1996

Dear Stacey,

This guy in my history class keeps asking me out. (I told you, right?) Anyway, today he asked me out again (for, like, the 7th time). When I said no, he said, "Wanna just kiss?" I'm like NO. "Hug?" NO. Then my 1/2 friend, Kristen, (it's a long story), said just to blow him a kiss. I said no. (I was starting to get mad). So, she told him to blow me a kiss. (This is right in the middle of class.) The teacher sees him, but thinks he has a RUBBERBAND! (Does this not tell you what kind of guy he is?) I was fine with that until Kristen said, "He was blowing Kara a kiss." I could have died. Everyone was so quiet and I was SO-SO-SO-SO BRIGHT RED. I covered my face with my hands. Then Brian started to cry. I was really furious. . .

First of all, my heart just about breaks for Brian, who sadly I can't remember. 2ndly, Kristen was not a good friend. 3rdly, apparently, I was a fan of the parenthesis. They're like little hugs of information. 4thly, I guess I had a prejudice against guys who might be suspected of rubber-band usage.

I am so glad I'm safely married and don't have to turn guys down, embarrass them and then break their hearts. One look at my ring and my four fighting kids, and they run away of their own accord.